The dictionary describes an empath as:
“An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, to the point of feeling those emotions themselves. Empaths see the world differently than other people; they’re keenly aware of others, their pain points, and what they need emotionally.”
I would add to this that Empaths take unnecessary responsibility to “fix it” when others are emotionally hurt. On one hand because they truly care and want to help and on the other hand because it will help them stop hurting too!
I would also argue that all Moms are somewhat of an Empath. We are keenly aware of our kids’ feelings and physical needs. Think of Empath Moms as a Mama Bear on steroids. Some signs that you are an Empath Mom:
•Sometimes you feel too connected to your kiddos- like feeling everything they are feeling to the extent it causes you anxiety or emotional pain.
•You tiptoe around your kids to avoid conflict.
•You feel completely torn because you want to enforce rules but their tears totally derail you.
•You feel emotionally burnt out after spending all day with the kids.
•You aren’t even sure how you feel sometimes because their feelings are so all encompassing.
If you have another sign please share it in the comments.
To make everything even more complex, oftentimes kids of Empaths are also Empaths. So they are super in tune to their parents moods, feelings, and often saying what their parents are thinking even though their parents haven’t said it aloud.
I have experienced this in my family and it can be so exhausting!! My oldest is 9 so I have lots of tips to share on how to survive with all the Empath energy flying around!
ok on to the tips to help you!!
Firstly if at all possible teach your kids to meditate. You should be meditating too. I know, I know, it’s the advice everyone gives to solve all emotional problems. But it’s so important. I was only able to distinguish myself and my feelings when I consistently meditated. It doesn’t have to be for long. 10-15 minutes a day is plenty. It gives you some much needed space in your head. Kids can meditate too and often they pick it up quickly and easily.
With kids start with one minute and work up to five minutes over a month’s time. Have them place one hand on their heart and one on their belly and count their breaths up to 10 and then start over.
Empath Mama you should be drinking lots and lots of water. Your emotional processing system is constantly working and it needs water to work comfortably. I drink 2 large glasses of water right when I get up in the morning before any coffee or food and I feel so much more balanced.
Join a gym that has childcare built into the membership. You need exercise and alone time. Time to take a long hot shower without kids around. Time to sit in the locker room and stare off into space lol. I’m a member at the Y and it’s around $50 a month which includes the childcare which is open every weekday from 8:30am to 1pm. It is soooo worth it. Sometimes I don’t even exercise I just sit in the community room with a snack.
Ok this is a hard one for both you and your kids but totally worth it:
Teach your kids about feeling their emotions. Sitting with their emotions. Teach them to notice it like a wave in the ocean. Sit with them and see how long it lasts. There is a peak to it and then it starts to fade. Teach them they are like the ocean and their emotions are like waves or fish whatever works better. They come and go but they as the ocean are always calm and steady. I won’t pretend this part is easy. One time my 5 year old threw such a full blown tantrum we were both crying our eyes out and it was a good 45 minutes before we settled down. But honestly before that I wasn’t sitting with her during it I was avoiding her, telling her to go calm down by herself, there’s no reason to be upset and things like that and it wasn’t working. It was only when I sat with her and gave her space and showed her how to cry and let it fade away that we both felt better. Come to think of it she hasn’t had one like that since then and that was 2 months ago.
Ok one more thing for now- make the rule enforcing a team effort. For me it’s hard to be the reason they have to do things like get off their tablets, do homework, eat their healthy food before snacks, etc. So writing them down puts them on paper and away from me. Also adding things like- your doctor agrees that you should eat this healthy food, your dentist said you have to brush your teeth twice a day, your teacher and I agree that this is the time you should do your homework, etc. It makes me feel that it’s not just me its a team effort, and it helps the kids too- they feel better knowing where these guidelines are coming from.
These are just things that have helped me- please share what helps you! And feel free to reach me at email@example.com
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